I’m heartbroken by the news of Britney Spears’ miscarriage. Considering that I rejoiced with her when I saw her early pregnancy announcement and that I now mourn with her after a miscarriage.
My reaction upon reading her words, “Maybe we should have waited till we were farther along…,” is this: No. She followed her instincts and accomplished it that way. She wanted to inform everyone. She persevered in the face of loss, and I admire her for that.
I am brought back to the manner in which I announced my own pregnancy. I unknowingly succumbed to the quiet culture of withholding information from my family and friends until I was “clear,” which was after the first trimester of pregnancyThree arduous, isolating, and mentally taxing months.
I well recall our discussion about how we would break the news with my spouse. He was deployed overseas, so during one of our phone calls, we both decided to hold off until I was in my second trimester, which is the “safe zone” for pregnancy that is generally accepted. That way, if something were to happen, we wouldn’t have wasted their and our friends’ excitement.
At the time, I was speaking incoherently. Yet I now see that I was contributing to the social expectation that you should wait to disclose your pregnancy. My statement, “Making our family and friends excited for nothing,” struck me with its weight and melancholy.
Because sharing with others was not in vain, even if you declare when you first learn that you are pregnant and the pregnancy is lost. To enjoy the thrill and excitement along with your loved ones. It was in the hopes that you would endure to the end. It was done out of a desire for support and protection from the community.
I wish I had told my immediate family and friends the news sooner. I was giddy with excitement, but I was simultaneously battling the most crippling fear and anxiety I had ever known.
The path of pregnancy is vulnerable. In actuality, nobody has any idea of what will transpire. But, you shouldn’t let that stop you from sharing. And as you admit more people,
